నాన్న

I'm going to become a father; Thanks to you buddi. I fell in love the day I saw you in the first scan and you waved. Done. Game, Set, Match. The inexplicable joy and gratitude and possessiveness I've felt for you has only grown. Both your Amma and I can't wait to welcome you into the world, and try to be the best parents we can be.

I've been meaning to write to you for a while now, for one because that is the best way nanna knows to express, for another so that what I write to you will act as a north star in instances when I'm not being the best father I can be. Also, ofcourse, because in case something happens to me and I'm not around, this is some of the best of what I can give you. And so that you can think of me sometimes. Nanna loves you very much.

I wanted to talk to you about 3 things today. The most truthful way of calling it would be life gyaan so, without making it more cringey than it needs to be, let's dive in:

1/ Agency

Prize action over thought. You are an embodied being, your intelligence is in your body. To be fully alive is to embrace the possiblities and limitations of that fact. Ofcourse there is a place for thought and there are times when it makes sense to spend sometime on your thoughts irrespective of what your body demands. More often than not though, you should have, in a phrase that used to be lobbied around at Flipkart, a Bias for Action. It is very easy for your mind to come untethered from its more immediate environment, to be inward-looking, self-obsessed, self-enamoured (look around this blog if you want a proof), and the only way to snap out of it is to act. That is the greatest feedback loop evolution has given us (though perhaps anthropomorphising evolution is totally not done, sorry Prof. Dawkins). Venkat Rao thatha (who I'm sure you'll hear a lot about from your old man) once wrote that a good sign of intelligence is the ability to increase the realm of the doable. Doable being the operative word. Ofcourse, you don't have to place yourself in situations where you become totally vulnerable and that is where thought comes in- to create sandbox environments and failsafe mechanisms in which you can interact with reality aka the physical environment. To use a pithy statement of Prof. Peterson's, "Utility trumps Truth". This kind of materialism is a position nanna has arrived at after wandering quite a bit and has found it has brought him the most, recursively speaking, agency. But why is agency a good thing, you might ask. As you grow older you will learn about axiomatic first principles, the strange loop-y character of consciousness (unless its supplanted by a better theory) but for now let it suffice that most of our lives are defined by our actions and in the absence of a divine, all-encompassing answer, the one unalienable motive of life must be to go on living and experience as much as possible. Sometimes that could precisely mean occassions where one must relinquish agency but they're the exception and not the norm.

2/ Certainty

Always question- out of curiosity, out of skepticism, out of defiance. Never completely accept received wisdom. Including obviously what I'm telling you now or whenever. That doesn't mean be skeptical about everything to the point of nihilism. Use it as a tool- appropriately, tastefully, intelligently self-servingly. To use Hartosh Singh Bal gari lilting phrase, you should have 'a certain ambiguity'. It is important to understand that all truths are context-specific, ofcourse some more useful, more widely-applicable than others, but nonetheless limited. So is intelligence. You could feel like you are the smartest person in a particular room at one point- Enjoy it, cherish it, don't take it too seriously for one day you will be in another room where you won't be. Welcome that experience too. For as you view others' statements judiciously, it is imperative you do that to the statements popping out of your head- it is good for the soul to be self-deprecating, to not take oneself too seriously let alone one's strongly held positions. Nothing is permanent. It is better to let your theories die in your stead as Prof. Popper would've said. Again, link this skepticism to the previous point. The point of questioning shouldn't be an end in itself, it should serve a higher purpose. That is where you use, and build, your intuition. Experience is the only teacher. Words are, at best, useful crutches.

3/ Magic

I imagine that one of my nicknames for you will be Jadu. Ofcourse after the great Javed Akhtar saab. Ofcourse because the love I feel for you, what stirs in my heart when I see you is nothing short of magic. Also because the world is a magical place and one must try to always stay enchanted. The magic I speak about refers to things like the incredible variation and ingenuity of evolution, the diamond-sheen of a theoretical proof, the sophistication of a well-constructed philosophical argument, the adaptability and anti-fragility of human societies and structures, the goodness of a lovingly cooked and served meal, the jugaadu working of a problem-solving smile-bringing hack, the effect that music and poetry have, even the fact that something as amazing, as unbelievable as language exists. As Douglas Adams once wrote, "I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day." For all that is remarkably cruel and petty about humans, we have a lot to be proud of. Cherish it, it is your heritage. Build on top of it. I call it magic not because something spectacular happens and it mind-scrambles us. That is the short-living kind. I call it magic because of the fact that in this vast universe, as far as we know, things work remarkably well here. And more so, we have found ways to not just build on it but also explain it to ourselves. How wonderful is knowledge, right?! The fact that something can be so opaque, so inexplicable initially but thanks to other humans, and our minds and hands, reveal itself to contain all sorts of interesting patterns and intriguing connections. It is magic of the best kind.

That's all I have for you today. Gosh, I'm so excited for your arrival, and can't wait to hangout with you all the time.

Love,
Always (this is one thing I'm certain of),
Nanna