Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Bringing back the crazy abandon

Every moment I'm living, I'm breathing, every action I perform, I want it to be a deliberate effort. I don't want to sleepwalk through life anymore. I want to be spent, exhausted, exulted every night before I fall into a deep slumber. I want to fall into a deep slumber, been ages since I've slept as wistfully as I want to. Thanks to The James Franco Project. Thoroughly inspiring to know that a man is capable of such high levels of metabolism. I think its an amazing feeling. Knowing that you've given life the best you could've and then tucking into sleep at the end of the day. Enough dreaming, talking, fantasizing. I want to throw myself with crazy abandon at whatever life offers me. Waiting for the right springboard to take the leap is keeping me rooted to Earth. I have to make do with whatever is being thrown at me. There's so much I want to do. I have no clue what I've been waiting for all along. Cribbing, crying, complaining, hoping for somebody else to pull me out of the muck. If I don't work all day at work and get fucked up the next day, its my fault. And I'm gonna have to get scorned for it. The equation's pretty simple. There's so-fucking-much to do and what am I even doing. Its all romantic dreaming. Holy shit. Run, strum, write, stroke, climb, code, yell, laugh, fall, jump. What am I waiting for? I promised right here that I'd post a piece of fiction every month. I haven't started yet on this month's quota but I'm going to post it. Sure will. Life's like a long line of dominoes. You push the right ones and the right things are going to fall. One wrong push and before you know it, you have an unwanted heap that'll take some work to clear off. Its easier pushing dominoes that is easier cleaning up the mess. But what all you get, depends on what you push. Karma. That's really about it then.

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