Saturday, May 26, 2012

the stallion of my dreams

I've always believed that knowledge is tangential. We learn something not because we want to learn it but as a derivative of something we are doing. Maybe that is why I've never truly understood the concept of modern education system. Children are told to study hard and study well so that they can live off it happily ever after. Get for themselves a lucrative career. Fortunately or otherwise, I've been pampered enough not to be forced to study. Right from my childhood, my family has never forced me into putting in so many hours on books before I went to sleep. They might've been saddened by my mediocre or sometimes even sub par performance, but they never let me know it. And thanks to that, I've always been a free spirit in pretty much everything I've ever chosen to do. No philosophy imbibed into me, no set of rules forced upon me. I've been told that somethings are good, some bad and some are to be done to be accepted by the society. And I've also been taught to respect the things I have because a lot of people in the world would love to trade places with me. I've tried respecting all that I've had at my disposal. Not always, maybe. But I try. I don't really like my job nor does it fill me with any kind of enthusiasm but I'm trying to meet its demands because I get paid to do it and money is important to me. Apart from that, since I've signed up for it, its some sort of a duty I have to perform. Dharma. And like Bujji mama told me, there's something to be learned everywhere. Even if you don't like the job, study it, understand it, see how it works. Maybe it'll help you somewhere, sometime in your life. I liked it. Thatha always taught me to read every scrap of paper I came across; Right from the pamphlet on the road to the make do packet the rice crispies seller makes. I don't really care if it ends up being useful but I like being informed. Well atleast, it comes off as a good show off on a dinner table.

So, basically, I've read what I wanted to. Done what I wanted to. Traveled where I wanted to. Learnt what I wanted to. If anything's ever prevented me from doing something, its my laziness or apprehension. And like Yann Martel once wrote to Stephen Harper, "Both of us know fear and slothfulness lead us nowhere. Great achievements only come through courage and hardwork." Its easier quoting inspiring stuff than following them. Anyway, back to the point. Thanks to that sort of an upbringing, now I can't get myself to do something I truly don't endorse. I can't take orders. I can be argued with, convinced, but cannot work on something just for the sake of it; Just because somebody's told me to do it. So, maybe, my way is not the right way. In search of knowledge in a wayward path. But I'm okay with it. Because I don't have anyone else to blame if I fail. Infact, I won't ever fail because I've never even raced. I've just been free running, the way the I want to, choosing my own path, my own obstacles and my ingenious ways of overcoming them. One day, I might hit upon a sudden realization that the conventional way is the right way. Maybe that will be my Eureka moment. And people might look at me and say, what a life wasted; He could've done so much instead of trying to reinvent the wheel. But I'll still be happy because I haven't blindly followed somebody else's ideologies. I've listened foremost to my instinct, respected my intuition and let my inherent spirit guide me. But I truly believe life is to be experimented with. All of us shouldn't be taught the same thing, the same way because we are not all the clones of each other.

Imagination is the most important virtue of them all. Let people dream. Let people understand. Let people carve their own paths. All of us are eventually heading towards the creator of cosmos. Why not dance and sing, and enjoy the journey while we are doing it. Why shouldn't we be allowed to fall, fail, get up and dance again. Ammamma tells me, every man should vouch for an ideology and live with it till his end. I don't really understand it. When I'm changing every moment, why should I do something just because it was decided by me when I was not what I' now. Maybe she's right. But I want to know it myself. Reinvent the wheel, maybe. What we truly ought to learn has already been imbibed in our DNA. Everything else is superfluous. And there's always destiny to set us on our right path. Maybe that is why I dream mostly of open fields, a hut, poetry and the woman of my life. I dream. I let my spirit guide me. I free the reins and I see where it takes me. The destination is unknown. But the journey is fun.

2 comments:

  1. brilliant. See, this is what talking to self does to you. I so loved that open fields, hut, woman of my life thingy.

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  2. Very well written, you most times u speak ur mind, your not just quoting what u feel but you seem to be giving words to most ppl like me around you, we all go through this one time or the other, but you always knew how to give words to what you feel

    Anyway i totally agree with on the last time. Life is a journey and the destination is unknown. But what matters is how do u make the journey worthwhile. Its just abt this very moment. Nothing after, Nothing before.

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