I fucked up and I fucked up super bad. Right now, I have almost virtually lost both my jobs at hand, messed with a tour I so wanted to take, flunked and am so dumbed down that I can't write code for nothing. Yes, I am back to the phase I was once but this doesn't seem so bad.
Whenever I fall, I fall hard because I live hard. And when fall I do, I know this sounds like shit, I feel free; free because I have a goal now and no distractions. Because this is when I'm free from all obligation and forced to think. Like Proust said, "I have only lived when I have suffered." I have fallen again and this time I'm super disappointed because I lost a chance to live in the Sunderbans for five weeks. Posting this will not take me anywhere. Yes, I've brooded for a day and a half and the cause of my resurgence this time is the Principle of least action I just read about. It's instinctive and graceful. This is what art can do to you. I'm basically broke but here I am, virtually unconquerable because this time I know I'm going to work my ass off, courtesy It's not about the Bike.
Whenever I fall, I'm reminded of Steve Jobs' Stanford commencement speech where he says you will realise only later how precious any fall is. Well, this time around, it sure is going to be precious. I know I've said this a lot of time, but the bounce never actually happened. But this time, it will. I know I've said this a lot of times too but honestly, you don't have to trust what I'm saying now. Let me prove you.
Thank you very much.