Udaan made me think. On one end, there's Lakshya, where though everybody believes in Karan, he himself doesn't. And on the other end, there's Rohan where he isn't allowed to be what he so firmly believes to be his destiny. I've seen it happen in a lot of cases. Personally, I see a lot of Lakshyas that Udaans. I don't know if it's the human mentality but given a lot of choice, it's very hard to find a converging point for all your thoughts. Infact, even in Lakshya, only when he had run out of all choices and was forced to bend down and break his back did he succeed. It's funny that the more freedom you get, the less you respect it. Like a lot of things in life. If imprisonment, slavery, captivity can drive you to frustration, so can a lot of freedom, free will and indecisiveness. Not just writing, any job, if has to be done well needs a disregard for everything else apart from that. That iron will to defy all the odds and say no matter what happens, I'm not leaving this task unfinished. And where does somebody learn that; that do or die attitude sprouts from a childhood which never was. Where all that matters is survival, survival of your dreams, survival of the you and that realization of what the most important thing in your life. And that is why I believe that greatness is a result of intense frustration, insecurity, a need to prove your mettle and a clenched jaw. Every great man has had an impetus early in life to prove something, to reach a higher pedestal of acceptance. And that is why well brought up, urban kids are so messed up. They do not have that driving force which would give them a sense of direction, a sense of achievement and the need to prove. Since parents already cocoon them in an environment of luxury, comfort and security, where the best act of the day is orgasm, actually going out and working hard becomes a pain in the arse. And no matter how talented you are, it is your attitude to working towards it makes you great. Like Einstein once said, "Its just that I sit with my problems longer." And since all that energy of youth has to come out through some source, it does as tempers on parents and girlfriends and an urge to break the law. This is the primary reason why affluent high school kids think breaking laws is cool.
You know, I talk about writing so much, talk about intellectuality, feel the need to appear a genius, the insecurity of proving the world that I'm a writer too because I don't spend a lot of time writing. I find it that talking about writing is what makes me more popular than actually making an effort to write down some worthy words. And that is because I don't have a need to prove to anyone what I'm like. Yeah, that's the word, complacency. And with Rohan in Udaan, he's all but complacent. When nothing is going right, you turn to the things you are confident about. And with people like me, things generally go right, so there is no need to spend time and energy mastering a craft. Quotes, beads, cigarettes, kurtas or diaries don't make you a writer. If you' re a writer good enough, all these things will automatically fall into place but craving for all these wouldn't make you a writer worth the paper you've written on. It's high time I write fiction. Non-fiction, or essays, as an art form are pretty easy. But when there is a story coming out, it takes all your creative energies, leaves you exhausted and eventually looking back, elated.